Ten Best Last Words

Ten Best Last Words

By: Moira Webb

            Our lives are like stories, and *spoiler alert* they are all going to end one day. When you are on your deathbed, you have four options: you can say something really inspirational and cliché like “see you on the other side”, you can say nothing, you can say something stupid, or you can say something extremely awesome. The following people chose the last option.

• ·      James D. French- James French was a serial killer who was in Oklahoma at the time of his death. On August 10, 1966 he was put in the electric chair. Before a guard turned it on, French said, “How’s this for a headline? ‘French Fries’.”

• ·      Oscar Wilde- Oscar Wilde was an Irish poet, author, and playwright. He was died at the Left Bank Hotel on November 30, 1900. His amazing last words were, “My wallpaper and I are having a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.” After that, the hotel removed the wallpaper, and styled the room after one of Wilde’s living spaces in London.

• ·      Hector Hugh Munro- Munro was an Intrepid Officer in WWI who went by the name of Saki. Fearing that the cigarette his Co-Officer was smoking would give away his position to German snipers, he said “Put out the bloody cigarette!” Unfortunately, this gave their position, and Munro was shot in the head and killed.

• ·      Nero- Oh, this guy. This amazing Roman emperor was the last of the Julio-Claudian Dynasty. He is commonly known for playing a fiddle while Rome was burning to the ground. While he made plenty of sound decisions, the Senate unfortunately did not agree with them. Choosing to commit suicide instead of facing the Roman Senate, his last words were, “Qualis artifex pereo.” This roughly translates to, “What an artist the world loses in me.”

• ·      Humphrey Bogart- Bogart, an esteemed Hollywood actor in the 1900’s, died in his home in the United States, He died on January 22, 1957 due to a malignancy in his esophagus. His last words were, “I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.”

• ·      Del Close- Close coached famous comedians and actors in the late 90’s. He died on March 4, 1999. In his will, he wanted his skull to be used in the production, Hamlet, and wanted to be credited as playing a character named “Yorick”. His last words were, “Thank God. I’m tired of being the funniest person in the room.”

• ·      Davy Crockett- You may have had to listen to extremely boring lessons on this frontiersman. However, his last words were actually quite funny. While his death is commonly disputed, it is often agreed upon that he was executed. His last words were believed to be, “I’m warning you boys, I’m a screamer.”

• ·      Bob Hope- Hope was an actor, comedian, author, and singer. He died at the age of 100 in his home in Los Angeles, California on July 27, 2003. Before dying, his wife asked him where he would like to be buried. He responded with, “Surprise me.”

• ·      Caligula- Caligula was another great Roman Emperor. This guy really knew how to party. He is commonly referred to as “the guy who tried to make his horse the head of Senate”. However, while he was a great Emperor and kept the nation on its toes, his allies turned on him. He screamed “I live,” as his own soldiers murdered him.

• ·      John Sedgwick- Sedgwick was a Civil War General in 1864. His other troops where concerned about being spotted by snipers, when he said, “ They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist-.”